How Non-Verbal Communication is Used
Reinforcing.
With this technique you reinforce your verbal message with a non-verbal one. Examples are:You say, “No”, and show the palms of your hands at the same time.
•You say, “I am not happy with this”, and bang on the table with your fist.
•You say, “What have you done?”, in an intimidating tone while looking through the top of your glasses.
•Your boss says, “You have done really well!”, and follows this by patting you on the back gently, thereby increasing the impact of the message.
With this technique you reinforce your verbal message with a non-verbal one. Examples are:You say, “No”, and show the palms of your hands at the same time.
•You say, “I am not happy with this”, and bang on the table with your fist.
•You say, “What have you done?”, in an intimidating tone while looking through the top of your glasses.•Your boss says, “You have done really well!”, and follows this by patting you on the back gently, thereby increasing the impact of the message.
•Contradicting.
You can also contradict what you say with your body language. You might do this intentionally or unconsciously. Examples are:You say, “Ok, I’ll go get some food!”, while rolling your eyes just after you say it, indicating that you are not really happy about doing this task even though verbally you’ve agreed to do it.
•You say, “Carry on, I am listening”, while your eyes go back to the computer monitor in front of you indicating that you might be more interested in something else.
•Complementing.
With this technique, your gestures and body language add more information to what you are saying. Inability to complement a verbal message with non-verbal signals can lead to misunderstanding. It is also critical to read someone else’s body language to make sure you fully understand what they mean. Examples are:You hear, “Oh, shut up!”, followed by a casual body posture and breaking of eye contact. The other person is telling you to stop teasing her. If the complementing tone and facial expression is different or missing you could be interpreting this as an aggressive remark forcing you to stop talking.
•A mother starts to tell a story about tooth fairy to a child while winking at an older sibling indicating that the story is not true, but she is telling this to the child as a cultural custom. The wink adds value to the communication without the need to verbalise it as it is not possible to do this in front of the younger child.
•You add a smiley to a text message to simulate body language in the digital world and ensure that the receiving person understands that you were joking.
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